I joined Facebook some time ago as a show of support for a friend. I quickly came to know that it wasn't really for me, since most of my past is better left where it is. I started up at Facebook again for a variety of reasons, 1 being that most of my closest present day friends are there and it was a good way to keep up. I think it's lovely for posting quick blurbs when I don't have enough time or material to post here, and if my computer didn't hate Flash so much the games would be fun to play. (Sorry FV and CW neighbors, but I can't even finish my own stuff before it freezes up on me, much less make visits to everyone else :( )
Besides being able to connect for brief moments with my friends, Facebook has turned out to be an absolute nightmare for me, and that's not even taking into consideration the incident with my profile pic being used by someone to slander me. It's become a forum for my sons stepmother to make passive aggressive attacks on me for seemingly no other reason than to hurt me and make me feel bad. I know I could just block her, but they don't send me pictures of Ian even when I call and ask repeatedly. The only way they will share pics with me is through Facebook. She seems to have trouble with my being a proud mom, and anytime I post about Ian, she does something hurtful. Once I posted that I was worried about Ian, and she posted I don't need to think about it, she will let me know when it's ok to worry. Yesterday, after I posted an update about Ian and the National Guard, she posted a pic of Ian, and sent it to me labeled "My dear son".
Don't get me wrong, I've never tried, or wanted, to get between Ian and his step mother. I've ALWAYS taught Ian that he should respect her no differently than he would me. The problem with "My dear son" is that she has 3+ years of photos posted on Facebook, there are at least 20 photos with Ian in them, and never once has she ever labeled a photo of Ian anything other than Ian. Never once have I heard her refer to him as anything other than Ian or her step son. If it weren't so out of the blue I wouldn't think twice, but she has a history of being horribly passive aggressive towards me, and this stunt just reeks of her trying to hurt me. I honestly don't understand why. The only thing I care about at all is my son, and doing what is best for him. I just can't seem to get her, or Ians father, to get past their personal issues and focus on Ian.
So this whole thing has me feeling really down today. It seems no matter how much good I try to do, when karma comes round it's to kick my ass some more. I'm going to try an experiment over the next few weeks, hush hush like, to see if it can help me lift up out of this funk. I'll let you know how it goes.
And hey, if I haven't said it lately, I love you guys! I really do have the best friends a person could ask for.
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Marlo, I stopped in to see how you are doing. Sorry to see that your Facebook account is causing you grief, but that is exactly why I refuse to have one. Being a teacher, I hear things like this all the time. There is something about it that gives "friends" the courage to say stuff they wouldn't say to your face.
ReplyDeleteIan's step-mom is nasty to you because she is jealous. She is the one who has had to deal with the little daily conflicts and disciplinary situations, and she may be afraid that he might like you better because you don't have to do those things all the time, not to mention the fact that you are his own flesh and blood. I think her territorial behavior shows that she cares about him, which is a good thing, but it is unbecoming to her and hard on you. It is not something he needs to be seeing either, if he visits your Facebook page. I would block her, I think, or get rid of Facebook altogether. Ian is a big boy now. He ought to be able to share his own pics with you and eliminate the jealous sniping. That's just my opinion, for what it is worth.
I hope tomorrow will be a better day, and good luck with your mysterious experiment. Bye for now.
Oreocreme
I totally agree with Oreocreme - don't let her hurt you, Marlo! Don't let anyone hurt you!
ReplyDeleteI know it's much easier to say it than to do it, but to get hurt it needs two persons: the one who hurts and the one who let it be. Don't be the second person!
Big ((((((((hugs))))))) for you!
Some good news to give you a little smile: my daughter will marry on May, 21st! I'm soooooo excited! ;)
(((((((((((hugzz))))))))))))) At times there are no answers for why people behave why they do.. I know you love your son. He knows that!
ReplyDeleteAaargh... pity that fb isn't working for you, dear - I think it's fun for the games - although, indeed, they can be very slow and annoying at times - For any other personal things - fb is no good. One must really think of it as a giant market place.
ReplyDeleteabout Ian's stepmom... She will never take your place, Marlo - never ever come even near to it - regardless what she's writing under his pic... In fact... isn't it a little pathetic? Just smile about it, and shake it off you - you should get some practice in a duck-like attitude ;) LOL -
I'll be looking out at Gmail for you - since the chat room seems to be unavailable for me at the moment ;)
Good courage! <3
Steppeland
I agree with Steppeland, it's hard I know sometimes to just smile and shake it off especially on such an emotionally charged issue as your son. And I would like ot emphasize " Your Son" Nothing and I repeat nothing will ever change the fact that Ian loves you. You are the one who gave him life. You carried him safely in you for nine months and that sad little women can never, ever trump that. There is an unspoken bond between a mother and child that cannot be broken. Heck you know about my mother, yet I still feel that bond and I do still love her and Marlo you are not like my mother! As far as Facebook, I gotta tell you I can't keep up with it. I think it's my age or something, perhaps it's this 24 pound little girl who is distracting me. Love you and don't let anyone sabotage your happiness sweetie, no one is worth that.
ReplyDelete(((((grouphug))))) i know you are all right. thanks friends!
ReplyDelete