Sleep Disorders are all the Rage

Somewhere around 12 years old I started snoring. I'm fairly positive that I can link it to the sudden and explosive "blossoming" of my girlie parts which made it impossible to sleep on my stomach any longer. Since then no one has ever noticed that I stop breathing while I sleep, and I've never had any sensations of not being able to breath outside of the occasional asthma attack. I do sleep on an incline, but that's to alleviate reflux and chronic pain in and around my now non existent gall bladder. I also have the occasional bout of insomnia, but that's all about stress and my inability to adjust to being a night sleeper. 15+ years working graveyard and swing can have that effect.

Why am I going on about my sleep issues? I'm going on about them because, yet again, my doctors don't believe that I know diddly squat about my own body. I'm being forced to participate in a sleep study because if they can add sleap apnea to my list of issues, it's another co morbidity to add to the list in determining my eligibility for surgery. Great! except that I already have more than enough extenuating circumstances that will guarantee a quick and painless pre approval.

I don't want to do a sleep study, and not just because I don't want to deal with the stress of the actual test, but because I worked in the insurance industry and I rarely ever saw a billing for a sleep study that didn't also include an order for a CPAP. Things become trendy in the medical world, and when CPAP became trendy, the slightest snort during a sleep study was all that was needed to push the machine on the patient for their own safety.

Don't get me wrong, I know that some people really do need CPAP and I really want them to have it. I'm sure I don't need it, I'm sure I won't be able to sleep with it on, and I'm sure that if I have to use it I will have to sleep in a separate bedroom because it will make sleeping more difficult for Keith. I'm also sure that I cannot afford it, even at 20% of approved cost.

 In the end, this thing that they think will facilitate a surefire quick approval for surgery, will actually turn my already surefire quick approval into a denial when I refuse to get the machine. My primary care doctor does have some kind of personal issues going on at the moment, and is being a bit scatter brained (which better stop after she deals with whatever the issues are). I'm hoping that the pulmonary doc will be more open minded to my position and not try and shove me on the CPAP bandwagon.

We shall see, until then I'll be snoring happily LOL.

The Plans are Set

After a lot of back and forth about how long I should stay in Georgia I've finally settled on a plan. Staying there for a long period of time was just not going to be possible financially so the plan is to leave Minnesota on May 30th, go to Ian's graduation on June 1st, have a nice dinner and overnight visit, then head back. It's not going to give us a lot of time together, but Ian and I talked and he can come up later in June, or we will make plans for Christmas.

I'm a little freaked out about the bus ride because I only just realized that 2 days on a bus, making frequent stops, and filled with strangers, is probably not the best place to sedate myself. I'm working on some meditation and breathing techniques to help me get past the anxiety. I may break my no drinking policy and have a shot or two as well. It's not approved therapy, but it sure can take the edge off in a pinch. I'm looking into getting an extra battery pack for Priscilla the Laptop, and if I do, I'll occupy some of the ride with good old fashioned Sims therapy. *giggles*


Once I get back home I'll be doing several weeks of testing in preparation for the bariatric surgery. More than likely the surgery will happen in August, after my little brother gets married, but there is a small possibility that it could be as early as the beginning of July. If July is possible it would have to be in the first week so I can be sure that I'll be up to the road trip to the wedding. Keith will be driving, and while I would normally take a pill and sleep the whole way up north, I'll need to be semi lucid to make sure that he doesn't get lost.

Oddly, just having the basic timeline set out is more reassuring than I had expected it to be. Now I'm hoping that as plans get more detailed I'll get more settled. *fingers crossed*

It wasn't as bad as I thought

So I attended my first meeting at the surgeons office. I was expecting it to be a humiliating, strip down to you panties experience. I had nightmare visions of the time I joined a gym and they came out with calipers and pinched me in delicate and personal places. Thankfully I was over thinking things and there were no calipers involved, just a digital camera and a tape measure. Their height measuring apparatus was broken, and recorded me as being 2 inches shorter than I am, and the lady had a good giggle about that because that would have made me shorter than her, which I obviously was not. The rest of the visit was just discussing insurance requirements and benefits.

All in all, I think the freaky car ride to the other side of the city was a waste of time since most of it could have been done over the phone, and the picture and measurements part could have waited until I actually met with the surgeon. That appointment won't be for quite a while since I have to gather, from various and sundry doctors, a history of my weight for the past two years, see a shrink, and participate in some kind of phone seminar with my insurance company. It's looking like I won't be meeting the surgeon until after I go down south to Ian's graduation.

On the happy side, I was given the OK to indulge a little for the next few weeks. Since my biggest issue to overcome is flavor cravings for savory and rich, rather than hunger, it's a good idea to appease some of my cravings now. There's still the reflux to contend with, but I know which foods make it really bad, so I'll avoid them...well, most of them, I've been craving spaghetti for a month now.

Happy Hoppy my friends!

Big Appointment this Week

After waffling back and forth about the bariatric surgery and whether or not to cancel my first consultation I've decided to go to the appointment this week and make my decision after that. There are more pro's than cons for the surgery, but the quantity doesn't quite measure up to the quality right now. On the pro side, the biggest factor is that the surgery could reverse my diabetes, and if my neuropathy isn't too advanced, that could reverse as well. Second, obviously, would be the weight loss, and with that, all kinds of little things like new clothes, high heel shoes, and improved self esteem. The final pro is regaining significant mobility.

The cons are slightly more complicated, and convoluted. As some of you may know, a few years back I had some issues, partially depression related, and partially from lack of money to buy food, and I didn't eat for close to 4 weeks. I did get some calories from beverages, but it wasn't enough and I ended up with severe malnutrition and complications with an already wonky liver. Because of that, my dear, sweet husband is super vigilant about always having food in the house, and therein lies the biggest problem in regards to my having the surgery. My husband doesn't have the slightest idea how to shop. I try to avoid the grocery store whenever possible, but I do make lists of what I want. Inevitably, he will come home with the things on my list, and a host of canned pasta, frozen pizza, candy, chips, ice cream, and all kinds of junk that I'm just not supposed to be eating. We've talked about this compulsion several times, and each time he says he can stop, but the next time he goes to the store he comes home with more junk. This is really the only con, but it's huge, because once I have the surgery I will really need to stick to a very strict food regimine or face serious, and potentially dangerous, complications. Not only do I not want to have to deal with the temptation of the foods that I used to love so much, but we just can't afford to waste money on food that won't be eaten.

I guess it's not as dire as it seems at times, Keith did come home from the store yesterday with no extras, so maybe he's turning it around. I guess time will tell. I'll let y'all know how the appointment went later this week.

And now I'm off! Before I go, I'm hoping to have a chat session on Monday, if you're interested in joining us, pop me an email at x.aponee.x at gmail dot com. (The x's are part of the address, you know what to do with the rest)

Back in Chat!

WOOT! I was able to install a new chatroom at the site this evening. It's a brand new, fresh, cootie free, updated version of the old chatroom. It's even at the same URL as the old one. At this point, I could go into a bunch of dumb technical details to explain why there's no way to register for the chatroom, but I don't think anyone really cares why LOL. You can't register the normal way, and, unlike before, you can't just log in with a username and no password, but no worries! I've got it covered.

If you want to join the chatroom, and I know you (had to toss that in for random passers by), just email me at x.aponee.x at gmail dot com. the x's are part of the address, you know what to do with the rest. Maybe, if we're able to, we can get a monthly chat going.

Well, I've accomplished everything I had planned for today, except cooking dinner, so now I'm off to the kitchen!

(((((supergianthugs)))))

Generous Friends!

When the House closed down a very special friend reached out to more very special friends in an attempt to make our staying in touch a tad bit easier while I'm out and about on my various adventures. This friend started a donation drive to help me get a Netbook, and I was quickly humbled and touched by the support, both financial and emotional, that poured in. Each day as I found new messages in my inbox I became more and more aware of just how lucky I really am.

Thanks to the generosity of my friends, and a special deal offered to me by the local retailer, I was able to get an incredibly sweet deal on a Laptop intead of a Netbook. I ended up getting, two weeks ago, an eMachines eME725-4520,  http://review.zdnet.com/product/laptops/emachines-eme725-4520/33980423. I would have posted sooner, but part of the reason I got a whopping $130 discount on this beauty is because it was a display model. It hadn't been on display long, and it was under a plastic gaurd so it couldn't be touched, but I still wanted to make sure everything was working properly and that I wouldn't have to return it. Happily, it works beautifully. She's even more powerful than my desktop baby. I've named her Priscilla, and each time I use her I will think of all who made it possible and all who make it necessary.

Now you'll never be rid of me *cheeky*

(((((hugstoall)))))

The Pains of Getting Healthy

For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, pregnancy can make some pretty whacky, and permanent, changes to your body. I'm NOT pregnant, I was fixed years ago. My point is that after I carried Ian for 48 weeks (he really didn't want out LOL) I had a whole new body and chemistry to get used to. Besides thinner hair, oddly growning fingernails, and feet a whole size and a half larger, I ended up with some vicious reflux that never went away. I've told doctors about it for years, and they always jotted it down but somehow forgot to actually do anything about it. Well, to be fair, there was that one time that I was given Prevacid, but it was for an entirely different hemisphere of my body, and for all my research I never did find out how it was supposed to be helpful for that particular affliction.

Today my doctor actually prescribed something for me after she looked in my throat and confirmed that the reflux was erroding my throat and making it bleed. Now I have a whole new list of things to give up. Of course if it stops the fire acid from eating away at my insides that will be wonderful, but how the heck am I going to give up chocolate and mexican food without a good week long crying session, at the very least? Chocolate is the worst of it, but I eat far less chocolate than I do onions, and I have to give up those too. I put onions in everything i make. Every week I make a medium sized container of chopped onions and celery for salads, and to cook with. At least I don't have to give up the celery, that's negative calories that are so easy to incorporate into most recipes. Salsa will be missed too. It's got some fabulous metabolism balancing qualities, so I try and sneak it into things when Keith isn't looking. He's a big baby who thinks Taco Bell mild sauce is too hot o.O.

I'll admit the reflux is worse now than usual, and that I am fully to blame for that. I've been having food "funerals" to say goodbye to some of my favorites that I won't be able to have after my surgery. I wish I had made it to Applebee's to share one last Chocolate Lava Cake with Keith, but I suppose I'll just have to stop the funerals, and behave myself. I guess that means the bar of Black and Green Organic Chocolate on top of the fridge will go to a worthy food shelf, and while I'm happy to spread the chocolate love to those less fortunate, I'm sure I will be shedding a tear as Keith has to wrestle the package from my fist and drop it in the bin. At least it's for a good cause, them and me.

Thanks for listening to me ramble, now go pretend you're me and eat a Chocolate Lava Cake! [Insert CHEEKY emotie here]