Hey friends! Boy time sure doesn't fly when it's hot, muggy, and you have no internet. Thank goodness for free Wi-Fi around town, generally even in places with air conditioning. I expect to be offline for another month while I put other priorities first. If only a mothers pocket book was as deep as her love...sigh. On the plus side, in a few weeks I will be able to talk to Ian again, just as soon as I activate and send him "our" new cell phone. Currently he has no cell phone, or home phone, and I can only talk to him for a few moments here and there through his fathers work phone. I am SO looking forward to having regular chats with him again.
In other news, I'm in my 6th or 7th week of "skills" class and I'm really seeing a huge difference. I started the class because I was having trouble making some of the lifestyle changes that I need to make for bariatric surgery. It must be working, because not only have I been able to transition to a new meal plan AND keep my diabetes in check, but I've also lost 20lbs without even thinking about it. It's still a very long process, and I'll be continuing class for about 1/2 year. I'll revisit the surgeon in a few months, once I know I'm firmly planted on the right path.
Other than that, I'm leading an incredibly BORING life, and I'm finding it to be a particularly refreshing experience.
Tuesday, August 10, 2010
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
They Call Me Breaky
Well, if you're on my list of Facebook Friends, you know that I had a run in with a pitcher of water two weeks ago. The pitcher won, sort of. I ended up with a broken hand. At first the doctor and I were worried that there may be some bone issues if something so completely innocuous as picking up a half full filter pitcher can break my hand. Thankfully, as it turns out, my hand was already broken, I just didn't know it until I went for a glass of water. Now I can chalk it up to the "old standby", which is, I did it in my sleep.
Over the years I've had some odd injuries that eventually led me to get the nickname "Breaky". Starting when I was 5, I broke my collar bone getting into bed, at 12, I broke my ankle HORRIBLY while standing on a stationary skateboard on a flat street. There were the times I broke my foot walking down stairs, sprained my wrist while trying on shoes (and was hit by a truck while I drove myself to Urgent Care), and knocked out my front tooth while I took a power nap before a job interview. That's just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, as there are at least 5 other injuries that I've sustained while in the relative "safety" of my bed. I've broken my nose so many times that it makes a weird crackling noise when I wiggle it.
All in all, it makes for good storytelling, and it could be worse. The girl who nicknamed me "Breaky" was nicknamed "Burny". She used to catch on fire alot. o.O
Over the years I've had some odd injuries that eventually led me to get the nickname "Breaky". Starting when I was 5, I broke my collar bone getting into bed, at 12, I broke my ankle HORRIBLY while standing on a stationary skateboard on a flat street. There were the times I broke my foot walking down stairs, sprained my wrist while trying on shoes (and was hit by a truck while I drove myself to Urgent Care), and knocked out my front tooth while I took a power nap before a job interview. That's just the tip of the iceberg, so to speak, as there are at least 5 other injuries that I've sustained while in the relative "safety" of my bed. I've broken my nose so many times that it makes a weird crackling noise when I wiggle it.
All in all, it makes for good storytelling, and it could be worse. The girl who nicknamed me "Breaky" was nicknamed "Burny". She used to catch on fire alot. o.O
Tuesday, June 15, 2010
My Graduate
I'm Home! Ok, I've been home for a week and a half now, but I have real reasons for taking so long to post, I promise. First is doctors appointments, as usual, and second, I was a total dunder head and forgot to pay the phone/internet bill before I left town. I was out of service until last Tuesday. I always think it's funny that it's just a flip of a switch to turn you off, but takes several days restore. Oh well, que sera sera.
My bus trip down to Georgia was long and cramped, but blessedly uneventful. I had a great visit with Ian, I just wish it hadn't been so short and that I hadn't been so tired. We made the most of our time, playing cards, and goofing off together. There was some serious mother/son talking going on too, and we both got a lesson in ordering wisely from take-out. The graduation ceremony was nice, not too long, not too short, and surprisingly light (as in not stuffy and pompous LOL). The whole audience got a chuckle when the choir started singing Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. It sure was nice of them to choose a song us old timers would recognize. After the ceremony we had a lovely family lunch with his dad, step-mother, and her sister. Then we went shopping, talked about the future, goofed off some more, and played poker. The morning, and my bus, came all to quickly, and I was back on my way. The trip home was a nightmare and I arrived home sore, hardly able to walk, and with bruises on my bum, but I won't let that spoil my memories.
My bus trip down to Georgia was long and cramped, but blessedly uneventful. I had a great visit with Ian, I just wish it hadn't been so short and that I hadn't been so tired. We made the most of our time, playing cards, and goofing off together. There was some serious mother/son talking going on too, and we both got a lesson in ordering wisely from take-out. The graduation ceremony was nice, not too long, not too short, and surprisingly light (as in not stuffy and pompous LOL). The whole audience got a chuckle when the choir started singing Don't Stop Believin' by Journey. It sure was nice of them to choose a song us old timers would recognize. After the ceremony we had a lovely family lunch with his dad, step-mother, and her sister. Then we went shopping, talked about the future, goofed off some more, and played poker. The morning, and my bus, came all to quickly, and I was back on my way. The trip home was a nightmare and I arrived home sore, hardly able to walk, and with bruises on my bum, but I won't let that spoil my memories.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
I have NO symptoms but SO WHAT!
I went for the initial sleep assessment last week, and much as I feared, it turned out to be a completely frustrating event. Right away I was chastised for not having brought in any paperwork, even though I had not received any paperwork to fill out prior to the visit. It took my explaining that bit of information to 3 different people before I was allowed to keep the appointment that I had already shown up for.
Most of the visit with the specialist wasn't even about sleep because after an exciting (pronounced terrifyingly awful) drive to the specialty center my blood pressure was a little elevated. The doctor was extremely reluctant to accept that I do not have hypertension and he spent a fair amount of time trying to change my mind about it. When we finally did get down to discussing sleep issues it only took a few minutes for him to tell me that I have no signs or symptoms of sleep apnea. WOO HOO! I was thrilled for a brief moment. Too brief a moment unfortunately. In the same breath the doctor told me he was referring me for a sleep study anyway. I made the silly mistake of asking why. "Mrs. Cloud", he said, "You are obese", as if I didn't already know, "Even without symptoms I would be surprised if you did not have sleep apnea".
Once again, I couldn't possibly know my own body. Screw the fact that I have not a single symptom or complaint, I'm fat so doctors don't have to treat me as an individual. Hell, they don't even have to look for answers that can't be explained by my grotesque fatness. In the end, I'm nothing more to the medical community than a number on a scale. I suppose I should be grateful that they address me by my name instead of just calling me 317.
I've decided that I will not be participating in the sleep study. I find it frivolous and wasteful to undergo an expensive procedure based solely on my weight and no other supporting evidence. This will probably cause some trouble with my primary care doctor, but I've reached my tolerance limit for dehumanizing humiliation from self important medical "professionals".
Most of the visit with the specialist wasn't even about sleep because after an exciting (pronounced terrifyingly awful) drive to the specialty center my blood pressure was a little elevated. The doctor was extremely reluctant to accept that I do not have hypertension and he spent a fair amount of time trying to change my mind about it. When we finally did get down to discussing sleep issues it only took a few minutes for him to tell me that I have no signs or symptoms of sleep apnea. WOO HOO! I was thrilled for a brief moment. Too brief a moment unfortunately. In the same breath the doctor told me he was referring me for a sleep study anyway. I made the silly mistake of asking why. "Mrs. Cloud", he said, "You are obese", as if I didn't already know, "Even without symptoms I would be surprised if you did not have sleep apnea".
Once again, I couldn't possibly know my own body. Screw the fact that I have not a single symptom or complaint, I'm fat so doctors don't have to treat me as an individual. Hell, they don't even have to look for answers that can't be explained by my grotesque fatness. In the end, I'm nothing more to the medical community than a number on a scale. I suppose I should be grateful that they address me by my name instead of just calling me 317.
I've decided that I will not be participating in the sleep study. I find it frivolous and wasteful to undergo an expensive procedure based solely on my weight and no other supporting evidence. This will probably cause some trouble with my primary care doctor, but I've reached my tolerance limit for dehumanizing humiliation from self important medical "professionals".
Monday, May 3, 2010
Frazzled and Frustrated
What would a week in my life be like without any drama or crisis? I sure would like to find out. A girl can dream.
I spent most of the last week dealing with the absolutely frustrating and mostly incompetent people at my health insurance company. The first problem was a billing issue and their intent to drop my coverage which would have left me with just Medicare coverage and NO prescription coverage for the rest of the year. The problem was they had not billed me for my January and February premiums until after the due date for February. I had already been on the phone with them trying to resolve the billing blip even before I received the first bill. I'm not in a position to pay a double premium at once, especially while I was saving for the trip to my son's graduation, so I requested to make payment arrangements to pay the January premium in installments. I was told that it would not be necessary because I had a sixty day grace period. Having paid utilities and other bills for the better part of my life, grace period implied that if I paid within the allotted time the period would then start over again with the next billing cycle. That was not the case with this grace period but that bit of pertinent information was left out of the conversation I had with the billing rep. It was, in fact, a fixed grace period that I only get to use a few times a year.
Finally, after several attempts to resolve the issue and keep my coverage the company gave in and will not be dropping me. It did take a threat to call the state insurance commissioner and my insisting that since their phone reps do not document what they quote that the tapes of the actual calls were reviewed. After that review they had to concede that I had tried early on to resolve the issue. They didn't admit that I wasn't given a clear explanation of their policy, instead they said that they could see how I may have misunderstood. Irritating to be condescended to that way, but at least I'm keeping my coverage.
Since I am keeping my coverage I called to verify some points regarding my upcoming surgery and I was shocked when I was told that the criteria I thought I had to meet were not correct and now issue number two was in full swing. The criteria I was calling to clarify was given to my by one of their benefits representatives. The first thing I did was ask them to open the log and read the documentation for that original call. I was told, in an annoyed tone, that they do not document what they quote, they only document the time, date, and reason for the call. They could pull the audio recording but that needs an written request and would take weeks. I don't have weeks, I'm supposed to start the series of evaluations that will determine if I am a suitable candidate for surgery. I don't want to waste time on those if i can't be sure that I've met the coverage criteria first and I explained that and asked for the correct benefit information. That's when she told me that she could only give me a very vague synopsis of the requirements, that I would have to get it from the surgeons office. The surgeons office are the ones that told me to verify my benefit with my insurance company.
That started a crazy round robin of telephone tag with 3 other reps, each of whom told me something different than the person before them. I asked repeatedly to talk to a benefit coordinator, who typically has more in depth knowledge of the benefits. Apparently they do not talk to members, only providers. I asked for a supervisor, but they were all out of the office. As it stands, I still do not know what the qualifying criteria are, which means I am unable to get the correct records sent to the surgeons office. I have asked the surgeons nurse to call my insurance company, so hopefully I will have the information I need before I start the evaluation process.
I love the clinics that the insurance company owns, but I am completely flabbergasted by the utter lack of knowledge and professionalism of their member service. I used to work for one of their competitors and would not have worked there for very long if I had performed so incompetently. Unfortunately I cannot change to another company until next year. Hopefully I won't need to call them again.
I hope you are all doing well. I sure do miss you.
I spent most of the last week dealing with the absolutely frustrating and mostly incompetent people at my health insurance company. The first problem was a billing issue and their intent to drop my coverage which would have left me with just Medicare coverage and NO prescription coverage for the rest of the year. The problem was they had not billed me for my January and February premiums until after the due date for February. I had already been on the phone with them trying to resolve the billing blip even before I received the first bill. I'm not in a position to pay a double premium at once, especially while I was saving for the trip to my son's graduation, so I requested to make payment arrangements to pay the January premium in installments. I was told that it would not be necessary because I had a sixty day grace period. Having paid utilities and other bills for the better part of my life, grace period implied that if I paid within the allotted time the period would then start over again with the next billing cycle. That was not the case with this grace period but that bit of pertinent information was left out of the conversation I had with the billing rep. It was, in fact, a fixed grace period that I only get to use a few times a year.
Finally, after several attempts to resolve the issue and keep my coverage the company gave in and will not be dropping me. It did take a threat to call the state insurance commissioner and my insisting that since their phone reps do not document what they quote that the tapes of the actual calls were reviewed. After that review they had to concede that I had tried early on to resolve the issue. They didn't admit that I wasn't given a clear explanation of their policy, instead they said that they could see how I may have misunderstood. Irritating to be condescended to that way, but at least I'm keeping my coverage.
Since I am keeping my coverage I called to verify some points regarding my upcoming surgery and I was shocked when I was told that the criteria I thought I had to meet were not correct and now issue number two was in full swing. The criteria I was calling to clarify was given to my by one of their benefits representatives. The first thing I did was ask them to open the log and read the documentation for that original call. I was told, in an annoyed tone, that they do not document what they quote, they only document the time, date, and reason for the call. They could pull the audio recording but that needs an written request and would take weeks. I don't have weeks, I'm supposed to start the series of evaluations that will determine if I am a suitable candidate for surgery. I don't want to waste time on those if i can't be sure that I've met the coverage criteria first and I explained that and asked for the correct benefit information. That's when she told me that she could only give me a very vague synopsis of the requirements, that I would have to get it from the surgeons office. The surgeons office are the ones that told me to verify my benefit with my insurance company.
That started a crazy round robin of telephone tag with 3 other reps, each of whom told me something different than the person before them. I asked repeatedly to talk to a benefit coordinator, who typically has more in depth knowledge of the benefits. Apparently they do not talk to members, only providers. I asked for a supervisor, but they were all out of the office. As it stands, I still do not know what the qualifying criteria are, which means I am unable to get the correct records sent to the surgeons office. I have asked the surgeons nurse to call my insurance company, so hopefully I will have the information I need before I start the evaluation process.
I love the clinics that the insurance company owns, but I am completely flabbergasted by the utter lack of knowledge and professionalism of their member service. I used to work for one of their competitors and would not have worked there for very long if I had performed so incompetently. Unfortunately I cannot change to another company until next year. Hopefully I won't need to call them again.
I hope you are all doing well. I sure do miss you.
Tuesday, April 20, 2010
Sleep Disorders are all the Rage
Somewhere around 12 years old I started snoring. I'm fairly positive that I can link it to the sudden and explosive "blossoming" of my girlie parts which made it impossible to sleep on my stomach any longer. Since then no one has ever noticed that I stop breathing while I sleep, and I've never had any sensations of not being able to breath outside of the occasional asthma attack. I do sleep on an incline, but that's to alleviate reflux and chronic pain in and around my now non existent gall bladder. I also have the occasional bout of insomnia, but that's all about stress and my inability to adjust to being a night sleeper. 15+ years working graveyard and swing can have that effect.
Why am I going on about my sleep issues? I'm going on about them because, yet again, my doctors don't believe that I know diddly squat about my own body. I'm being forced to participate in a sleep study because if they can add sleap apnea to my list of issues, it's another co morbidity to add to the list in determining my eligibility for surgery. Great! except that I already have more than enough extenuating circumstances that will guarantee a quick and painless pre approval.
I don't want to do a sleep study, and not just because I don't want to deal with the stress of the actual test, but because I worked in the insurance industry and I rarely ever saw a billing for a sleep study that didn't also include an order for a CPAP. Things become trendy in the medical world, and when CPAP became trendy, the slightest snort during a sleep study was all that was needed to push the machine on the patient for their own safety.
Don't get me wrong, I know that some people really do need CPAP and I really want them to have it. I'm sure I don't need it, I'm sure I won't be able to sleep with it on, and I'm sure that if I have to use it I will have to sleep in a separate bedroom because it will make sleeping more difficult for Keith. I'm also sure that I cannot afford it, even at 20% of approved cost.
In the end, this thing that they think will facilitate a surefire quick approval for surgery, will actually turn my already surefire quick approval into a denial when I refuse to get the machine. My primary care doctor does have some kind of personal issues going on at the moment, and is being a bit scatter brained (which better stop after she deals with whatever the issues are). I'm hoping that the pulmonary doc will be more open minded to my position and not try and shove me on the CPAP bandwagon.
We shall see, until then I'll be snoring happily LOL.
Why am I going on about my sleep issues? I'm going on about them because, yet again, my doctors don't believe that I know diddly squat about my own body. I'm being forced to participate in a sleep study because if they can add sleap apnea to my list of issues, it's another co morbidity to add to the list in determining my eligibility for surgery. Great! except that I already have more than enough extenuating circumstances that will guarantee a quick and painless pre approval.
I don't want to do a sleep study, and not just because I don't want to deal with the stress of the actual test, but because I worked in the insurance industry and I rarely ever saw a billing for a sleep study that didn't also include an order for a CPAP. Things become trendy in the medical world, and when CPAP became trendy, the slightest snort during a sleep study was all that was needed to push the machine on the patient for their own safety.
Don't get me wrong, I know that some people really do need CPAP and I really want them to have it. I'm sure I don't need it, I'm sure I won't be able to sleep with it on, and I'm sure that if I have to use it I will have to sleep in a separate bedroom because it will make sleeping more difficult for Keith. I'm also sure that I cannot afford it, even at 20% of approved cost.
In the end, this thing that they think will facilitate a surefire quick approval for surgery, will actually turn my already surefire quick approval into a denial when I refuse to get the machine. My primary care doctor does have some kind of personal issues going on at the moment, and is being a bit scatter brained (which better stop after she deals with whatever the issues are). I'm hoping that the pulmonary doc will be more open minded to my position and not try and shove me on the CPAP bandwagon.
We shall see, until then I'll be snoring happily LOL.
Sunday, April 11, 2010
The Plans are Set
After a lot of back and forth about how long I should stay in Georgia I've finally settled on a plan. Staying there for a long period of time was just not going to be possible financially so the plan is to leave Minnesota on May 30th, go to Ian's graduation on June 1st, have a nice dinner and overnight visit, then head back. It's not going to give us a lot of time together, but Ian and I talked and he can come up later in June, or we will make plans for Christmas.
I'm a little freaked out about the bus ride because I only just realized that 2 days on a bus, making frequent stops, and filled with strangers, is probably not the best place to sedate myself. I'm working on some meditation and breathing techniques to help me get past the anxiety. I may break my no drinking policy and have a shot or two as well. It's not approved therapy, but it sure can take the edge off in a pinch. I'm looking into getting an extra battery pack for Priscilla the Laptop, and if I do, I'll occupy some of the ride with good old fashioned Sims therapy. *giggles*
Once I get back home I'll be doing several weeks of testing in preparation for the bariatric surgery. More than likely the surgery will happen in August, after my little brother gets married, but there is a small possibility that it could be as early as the beginning of July. If July is possible it would have to be in the first week so I can be sure that I'll be up to the road trip to the wedding. Keith will be driving, and while I would normally take a pill and sleep the whole way up north, I'll need to be semi lucid to make sure that he doesn't get lost.
Oddly, just having the basic timeline set out is more reassuring than I had expected it to be. Now I'm hoping that as plans get more detailed I'll get more settled. *fingers crossed*
I'm a little freaked out about the bus ride because I only just realized that 2 days on a bus, making frequent stops, and filled with strangers, is probably not the best place to sedate myself. I'm working on some meditation and breathing techniques to help me get past the anxiety. I may break my no drinking policy and have a shot or two as well. It's not approved therapy, but it sure can take the edge off in a pinch. I'm looking into getting an extra battery pack for Priscilla the Laptop, and if I do, I'll occupy some of the ride with good old fashioned Sims therapy. *giggles*
Once I get back home I'll be doing several weeks of testing in preparation for the bariatric surgery. More than likely the surgery will happen in August, after my little brother gets married, but there is a small possibility that it could be as early as the beginning of July. If July is possible it would have to be in the first week so I can be sure that I'll be up to the road trip to the wedding. Keith will be driving, and while I would normally take a pill and sleep the whole way up north, I'll need to be semi lucid to make sure that he doesn't get lost.
Oddly, just having the basic timeline set out is more reassuring than I had expected it to be. Now I'm hoping that as plans get more detailed I'll get more settled. *fingers crossed*
Sunday, April 4, 2010
It wasn't as bad as I thought
So I attended my first meeting at the surgeons office. I was expecting it to be a humiliating, strip down to you panties experience. I had nightmare visions of the time I joined a gym and they came out with calipers and pinched me in delicate and personal places. Thankfully I was over thinking things and there were no calipers involved, just a digital camera and a tape measure. Their height measuring apparatus was broken, and recorded me as being 2 inches shorter than I am, and the lady had a good giggle about that because that would have made me shorter than her, which I obviously was not. The rest of the visit was just discussing insurance requirements and benefits.
All in all, I think the freaky car ride to the other side of the city was a waste of time since most of it could have been done over the phone, and the picture and measurements part could have waited until I actually met with the surgeon. That appointment won't be for quite a while since I have to gather, from various and sundry doctors, a history of my weight for the past two years, see a shrink, and participate in some kind of phone seminar with my insurance company. It's looking like I won't be meeting the surgeon until after I go down south to Ian's graduation.
On the happy side, I was given the OK to indulge a little for the next few weeks. Since my biggest issue to overcome is flavor cravings for savory and rich, rather than hunger, it's a good idea to appease some of my cravings now. There's still the reflux to contend with, but I know which foods make it really bad, so I'll avoid them...well, most of them, I've been craving spaghetti for a month now.
Happy Hoppy my friends!
All in all, I think the freaky car ride to the other side of the city was a waste of time since most of it could have been done over the phone, and the picture and measurements part could have waited until I actually met with the surgeon. That appointment won't be for quite a while since I have to gather, from various and sundry doctors, a history of my weight for the past two years, see a shrink, and participate in some kind of phone seminar with my insurance company. It's looking like I won't be meeting the surgeon until after I go down south to Ian's graduation.
On the happy side, I was given the OK to indulge a little for the next few weeks. Since my biggest issue to overcome is flavor cravings for savory and rich, rather than hunger, it's a good idea to appease some of my cravings now. There's still the reflux to contend with, but I know which foods make it really bad, so I'll avoid them...well, most of them, I've been craving spaghetti for a month now.
Happy Hoppy my friends!
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Big Appointment this Week
After waffling back and forth about the bariatric surgery and whether or not to cancel my first consultation I've decided to go to the appointment this week and make my decision after that. There are more pro's than cons for the surgery, but the quantity doesn't quite measure up to the quality right now. On the pro side, the biggest factor is that the surgery could reverse my diabetes, and if my neuropathy isn't too advanced, that could reverse as well. Second, obviously, would be the weight loss, and with that, all kinds of little things like new clothes, high heel shoes, and improved self esteem. The final pro is regaining significant mobility.
The cons are slightly more complicated, and convoluted. As some of you may know, a few years back I had some issues, partially depression related, and partially from lack of money to buy food, and I didn't eat for close to 4 weeks. I did get some calories from beverages, but it wasn't enough and I ended up with severe malnutrition and complications with an already wonky liver. Because of that, my dear, sweet husband is super vigilant about always having food in the house, and therein lies the biggest problem in regards to my having the surgery. My husband doesn't have the slightest idea how to shop. I try to avoid the grocery store whenever possible, but I do make lists of what I want. Inevitably, he will come home with the things on my list, and a host of canned pasta, frozen pizza, candy, chips, ice cream, and all kinds of junk that I'm just not supposed to be eating. We've talked about this compulsion several times, and each time he says he can stop, but the next time he goes to the store he comes home with more junk. This is really the only con, but it's huge, because once I have the surgery I will really need to stick to a very strict food regimine or face serious, and potentially dangerous, complications. Not only do I not want to have to deal with the temptation of the foods that I used to love so much, but we just can't afford to waste money on food that won't be eaten.
I guess it's not as dire as it seems at times, Keith did come home from the store yesterday with no extras, so maybe he's turning it around. I guess time will tell. I'll let y'all know how the appointment went later this week.
And now I'm off! Before I go, I'm hoping to have a chat session on Monday, if you're interested in joining us, pop me an email at x.aponee.x at gmail dot com. (The x's are part of the address, you know what to do with the rest)
The cons are slightly more complicated, and convoluted. As some of you may know, a few years back I had some issues, partially depression related, and partially from lack of money to buy food, and I didn't eat for close to 4 weeks. I did get some calories from beverages, but it wasn't enough and I ended up with severe malnutrition and complications with an already wonky liver. Because of that, my dear, sweet husband is super vigilant about always having food in the house, and therein lies the biggest problem in regards to my having the surgery. My husband doesn't have the slightest idea how to shop. I try to avoid the grocery store whenever possible, but I do make lists of what I want. Inevitably, he will come home with the things on my list, and a host of canned pasta, frozen pizza, candy, chips, ice cream, and all kinds of junk that I'm just not supposed to be eating. We've talked about this compulsion several times, and each time he says he can stop, but the next time he goes to the store he comes home with more junk. This is really the only con, but it's huge, because once I have the surgery I will really need to stick to a very strict food regimine or face serious, and potentially dangerous, complications. Not only do I not want to have to deal with the temptation of the foods that I used to love so much, but we just can't afford to waste money on food that won't be eaten.
I guess it's not as dire as it seems at times, Keith did come home from the store yesterday with no extras, so maybe he's turning it around. I guess time will tell. I'll let y'all know how the appointment went later this week.
And now I'm off! Before I go, I'm hoping to have a chat session on Monday, if you're interested in joining us, pop me an email at x.aponee.x at gmail dot com. (The x's are part of the address, you know what to do with the rest)
Sunday, March 21, 2010
Back in Chat!
WOOT! I was able to install a new chatroom at the site this evening. It's a brand new, fresh, cootie free, updated version of the old chatroom. It's even at the same URL as the old one. At this point, I could go into a bunch of dumb technical details to explain why there's no way to register for the chatroom, but I don't think anyone really cares why LOL. You can't register the normal way, and, unlike before, you can't just log in with a username and no password, but no worries! I've got it covered.
If you want to join the chatroom, and I know you (had to toss that in for random passers by), just email me at x.aponee.x at gmail dot com. the x's are part of the address, you know what to do with the rest. Maybe, if we're able to, we can get a monthly chat going.
Well, I've accomplished everything I had planned for today, except cooking dinner, so now I'm off to the kitchen!
(((((supergianthugs)))))
If you want to join the chatroom, and I know you (had to toss that in for random passers by), just email me at x.aponee.x at gmail dot com. the x's are part of the address, you know what to do with the rest. Maybe, if we're able to, we can get a monthly chat going.
Well, I've accomplished everything I had planned for today, except cooking dinner, so now I'm off to the kitchen!
(((((supergianthugs)))))
Thursday, March 18, 2010
Generous Friends!
When the House closed down a very special friend reached out to more very special friends in an attempt to make our staying in touch a tad bit easier while I'm out and about on my various adventures. This friend started a donation drive to help me get a Netbook, and I was quickly humbled and touched by the support, both financial and emotional, that poured in. Each day as I found new messages in my inbox I became more and more aware of just how lucky I really am.
Thanks to the generosity of my friends, and a special deal offered to me by the local retailer, I was able to get an incredibly sweet deal on a Laptop intead of a Netbook. I ended up getting, two weeks ago, an eMachines eME725-4520, http://review.zdnet.com/product/laptops/emachines-eme725-4520/33980423. I would have posted sooner, but part of the reason I got a whopping $130 discount on this beauty is because it was a display model. It hadn't been on display long, and it was under a plastic gaurd so it couldn't be touched, but I still wanted to make sure everything was working properly and that I wouldn't have to return it. Happily, it works beautifully. She's even more powerful than my desktop baby. I've named her Priscilla, and each time I use her I will think of all who made it possible and all who make it necessary.
Now you'll never be rid of me *cheeky*
(((((hugstoall)))))
Now you'll never be rid of me *cheeky*
(((((hugstoall)))))
Monday, March 15, 2010
The Pains of Getting Healthy
For those of you who haven't had the pleasure, pregnancy can make some pretty whacky, and permanent, changes to your body. I'm NOT pregnant, I was fixed years ago. My point is that after I carried Ian for 48 weeks (he really didn't want out LOL) I had a whole new body and chemistry to get used to. Besides thinner hair, oddly growning fingernails, and feet a whole size and a half larger, I ended up with some vicious reflux that never went away. I've told doctors about it for years, and they always jotted it down but somehow forgot to actually do anything about it. Well, to be fair, there was that one time that I was given Prevacid, but it was for an entirely different hemisphere of my body, and for all my research I never did find out how it was supposed to be helpful for that particular affliction.
Today my doctor actually prescribed something for me after she looked in my throat and confirmed that the reflux was erroding my throat and making it bleed. Now I have a whole new list of things to give up. Of course if it stops the fire acid from eating away at my insides that will be wonderful, but how the heck am I going to give up chocolate and mexican food without a good week long crying session, at the very least? Chocolate is the worst of it, but I eat far less chocolate than I do onions, and I have to give up those too. I put onions in everything i make. Every week I make a medium sized container of chopped onions and celery for salads, and to cook with. At least I don't have to give up the celery, that's negative calories that are so easy to incorporate into most recipes. Salsa will be missed too. It's got some fabulous metabolism balancing qualities, so I try and sneak it into things when Keith isn't looking. He's a big baby who thinks Taco Bell mild sauce is too hot o.O.
I'll admit the reflux is worse now than usual, and that I am fully to blame for that. I've been having food "funerals" to say goodbye to some of my favorites that I won't be able to have after my surgery. I wish I had made it to Applebee's to share one last Chocolate Lava Cake with Keith, but I suppose I'll just have to stop the funerals, and behave myself. I guess that means the bar of Black and Green Organic Chocolate on top of the fridge will go to a worthy food shelf, and while I'm happy to spread the chocolate love to those less fortunate, I'm sure I will be shedding a tear as Keith has to wrestle the package from my fist and drop it in the bin. At least it's for a good cause, them and me.
Thanks for listening to me ramble, now go pretend you're me and eat a Chocolate Lava Cake! [Insert CHEEKY emotie here]
Today my doctor actually prescribed something for me after she looked in my throat and confirmed that the reflux was erroding my throat and making it bleed. Now I have a whole new list of things to give up. Of course if it stops the fire acid from eating away at my insides that will be wonderful, but how the heck am I going to give up chocolate and mexican food without a good week long crying session, at the very least? Chocolate is the worst of it, but I eat far less chocolate than I do onions, and I have to give up those too. I put onions in everything i make. Every week I make a medium sized container of chopped onions and celery for salads, and to cook with. At least I don't have to give up the celery, that's negative calories that are so easy to incorporate into most recipes. Salsa will be missed too. It's got some fabulous metabolism balancing qualities, so I try and sneak it into things when Keith isn't looking. He's a big baby who thinks Taco Bell mild sauce is too hot o.O.
I'll admit the reflux is worse now than usual, and that I am fully to blame for that. I've been having food "funerals" to say goodbye to some of my favorites that I won't be able to have after my surgery. I wish I had made it to Applebee's to share one last Chocolate Lava Cake with Keith, but I suppose I'll just have to stop the funerals, and behave myself. I guess that means the bar of Black and Green Organic Chocolate on top of the fridge will go to a worthy food shelf, and while I'm happy to spread the chocolate love to those less fortunate, I'm sure I will be shedding a tear as Keith has to wrestle the package from my fist and drop it in the bin. At least it's for a good cause, them and me.
Thanks for listening to me ramble, now go pretend you're me and eat a Chocolate Lava Cake! [Insert CHEEKY emotie here]
Thursday, March 11, 2010
[Insert terrible, painful things HERE] to the Hackers!
I took a goof off day yesterday so my head wouldn't explode. It didn't explode, as you might have noticed by now, but it really really wanted to. The day before yesterday i spent the whole damn day fixing countless files at the website because some buttwipe hacker found their way in and put a browser hijack script on them. GRRRRR. The webhost said the problem was on my end, so after I fixed all the files, I spent 2 hours changing all my passwords, which is always a pain, and then I spent 10 hours doing 4 different deepscans of my computer. I never did find a keylogger, so I'm really not sure how the bastard got in.
I'm not going to argue with my host, since they really have been very good to me, but I have to wonder if it really was because of some breach of my home PC. I would think that if someone found their way into my PC, they would have gone after my PayPal, or banking info, or something actually profitable. It makes no sense that they would just snag the password to my website in order to post a script that any halfway competent AV program would immediately flag. The mind boggles. O.o
All is fine now, but the chat room had to be deleted completely since it was mostly JavaScript, and every file had been attacked. Not only do I know nothing about JS coding, but I don't even have a program that will edit it. Some of us tried out Gmails group chat feature yesterday, none of us had good things to say about it, there were lots of disconnects, and we had to open a new chat room a few times because someone would get booted and couldn't get back in. I will install a fresh chat room this weekend. I won't be publicly posting the chat room URL, but I'll send the link to anyone (that I know) who wants it, as well as those of you that would show up for chats from time to time. There's just nothing like the chaos of a bunch of people all chatting about differnt things at once LOL.
Aside from that, I've not got much going on besides some internet window shopping for the perfect outfit to wear to Ian's graduation. I'm looking for that right mix of kind of hip and funky but not embarassing. *Fingers Crossed*
(((((HUGSTOALL)))))
I'm not going to argue with my host, since they really have been very good to me, but I have to wonder if it really was because of some breach of my home PC. I would think that if someone found their way into my PC, they would have gone after my PayPal, or banking info, or something actually profitable. It makes no sense that they would just snag the password to my website in order to post a script that any halfway competent AV program would immediately flag. The mind boggles. O.o
All is fine now, but the chat room had to be deleted completely since it was mostly JavaScript, and every file had been attacked. Not only do I know nothing about JS coding, but I don't even have a program that will edit it. Some of us tried out Gmails group chat feature yesterday, none of us had good things to say about it, there were lots of disconnects, and we had to open a new chat room a few times because someone would get booted and couldn't get back in. I will install a fresh chat room this weekend. I won't be publicly posting the chat room URL, but I'll send the link to anyone (that I know) who wants it, as well as those of you that would show up for chats from time to time. There's just nothing like the chaos of a bunch of people all chatting about differnt things at once LOL.
Aside from that, I've not got much going on besides some internet window shopping for the perfect outfit to wear to Ian's graduation. I'm looking for that right mix of kind of hip and funky but not embarassing. *Fingers Crossed*
(((((HUGSTOALL)))))
Sunday, March 7, 2010
Karma, and Facebook, Hate me
I joined Facebook some time ago as a show of support for a friend. I quickly came to know that it wasn't really for me, since most of my past is better left where it is. I started up at Facebook again for a variety of reasons, 1 being that most of my closest present day friends are there and it was a good way to keep up. I think it's lovely for posting quick blurbs when I don't have enough time or material to post here, and if my computer didn't hate Flash so much the games would be fun to play. (Sorry FV and CW neighbors, but I can't even finish my own stuff before it freezes up on me, much less make visits to everyone else :( )
Besides being able to connect for brief moments with my friends, Facebook has turned out to be an absolute nightmare for me, and that's not even taking into consideration the incident with my profile pic being used by someone to slander me. It's become a forum for my sons stepmother to make passive aggressive attacks on me for seemingly no other reason than to hurt me and make me feel bad. I know I could just block her, but they don't send me pictures of Ian even when I call and ask repeatedly. The only way they will share pics with me is through Facebook. She seems to have trouble with my being a proud mom, and anytime I post about Ian, she does something hurtful. Once I posted that I was worried about Ian, and she posted I don't need to think about it, she will let me know when it's ok to worry. Yesterday, after I posted an update about Ian and the National Guard, she posted a pic of Ian, and sent it to me labeled "My dear son".
Don't get me wrong, I've never tried, or wanted, to get between Ian and his step mother. I've ALWAYS taught Ian that he should respect her no differently than he would me. The problem with "My dear son" is that she has 3+ years of photos posted on Facebook, there are at least 20 photos with Ian in them, and never once has she ever labeled a photo of Ian anything other than Ian. Never once have I heard her refer to him as anything other than Ian or her step son. If it weren't so out of the blue I wouldn't think twice, but she has a history of being horribly passive aggressive towards me, and this stunt just reeks of her trying to hurt me. I honestly don't understand why. The only thing I care about at all is my son, and doing what is best for him. I just can't seem to get her, or Ians father, to get past their personal issues and focus on Ian.
So this whole thing has me feeling really down today. It seems no matter how much good I try to do, when karma comes round it's to kick my ass some more. I'm going to try an experiment over the next few weeks, hush hush like, to see if it can help me lift up out of this funk. I'll let you know how it goes.
And hey, if I haven't said it lately, I love you guys! I really do have the best friends a person could ask for.
Besides being able to connect for brief moments with my friends, Facebook has turned out to be an absolute nightmare for me, and that's not even taking into consideration the incident with my profile pic being used by someone to slander me. It's become a forum for my sons stepmother to make passive aggressive attacks on me for seemingly no other reason than to hurt me and make me feel bad. I know I could just block her, but they don't send me pictures of Ian even when I call and ask repeatedly. The only way they will share pics with me is through Facebook. She seems to have trouble with my being a proud mom, and anytime I post about Ian, she does something hurtful. Once I posted that I was worried about Ian, and she posted I don't need to think about it, she will let me know when it's ok to worry. Yesterday, after I posted an update about Ian and the National Guard, she posted a pic of Ian, and sent it to me labeled "My dear son".
Don't get me wrong, I've never tried, or wanted, to get between Ian and his step mother. I've ALWAYS taught Ian that he should respect her no differently than he would me. The problem with "My dear son" is that she has 3+ years of photos posted on Facebook, there are at least 20 photos with Ian in them, and never once has she ever labeled a photo of Ian anything other than Ian. Never once have I heard her refer to him as anything other than Ian or her step son. If it weren't so out of the blue I wouldn't think twice, but she has a history of being horribly passive aggressive towards me, and this stunt just reeks of her trying to hurt me. I honestly don't understand why. The only thing I care about at all is my son, and doing what is best for him. I just can't seem to get her, or Ians father, to get past their personal issues and focus on Ian.
So this whole thing has me feeling really down today. It seems no matter how much good I try to do, when karma comes round it's to kick my ass some more. I'm going to try an experiment over the next few weeks, hush hush like, to see if it can help me lift up out of this funk. I'll let you know how it goes.
And hey, if I haven't said it lately, I love you guys! I really do have the best friends a person could ask for.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Two Days and I already have withdrawals
It's absolutely different not being able to check in to the forum a few times a day. I'm finding myself at somewhat of a loss in the morning when I get up. Technically the forum is still there, just incognito at a new secret address so I can tie up loose ends, but it's kind of creepy going there now, like going into an empty house with no lights on. I guess that's kind of what it is now...sigh...
Today after an afternoon of errands I spent the evening downloading and organizing the gifts from the forum. We sure were a very generous bunch, 5 hours of non stop downloading with a super fast connection and I still have all the halloween and Simchester files to download. There was a bit of a blip though, I seem to have lost everything that wasn't part of Simchester from 2008's halloween celebration. I will go back through my gmail accounts and my mess of oddly organized game folders, so I'm sure I'll find everything eventually. It's my fault I lost stuff anyway, I shouldn't have been doing house cleaning last night until 7am.
OH! I finally got around to joining the STS My House YG tonight. 12 people managed to join before me, but I think 6 of them are staff. There isn't a blessed thing there yet, but if y'all want to join, the first group is http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/savingthesims94/ (Note to anyone who stumbles upon this blog and doesn't know what it's about, the YG is for archiving game files for the original The Sims games, so there's no need for you to join unless you play). There isn't a second group yet, but I'm pretty sure it will be needed since we had nearly 300MB of files at the House o.O.
There really isn't a point to my rambling, I just miss you all already and don't know what to do about it. I'm not ready to integrate into a new forum yet. I'm not sure that I ever will be either, but that's a crazy old me thing. I really have to work on my email skills i think, and on learning to speak german, dutch, japanese, spanish, italian, and better french.
Well, I don't really want to say goodnight, but I think I might be a bit delerious from not sleeping well last night, so I'll bid you a tout a l'heur, and leave you with a lovely quote from the lovely Evalynda at the top of the page.
Lots of love to you all!
Today after an afternoon of errands I spent the evening downloading and organizing the gifts from the forum. We sure were a very generous bunch, 5 hours of non stop downloading with a super fast connection and I still have all the halloween and Simchester files to download. There was a bit of a blip though, I seem to have lost everything that wasn't part of Simchester from 2008's halloween celebration. I will go back through my gmail accounts and my mess of oddly organized game folders, so I'm sure I'll find everything eventually. It's my fault I lost stuff anyway, I shouldn't have been doing house cleaning last night until 7am.
OH! I finally got around to joining the STS My House YG tonight. 12 people managed to join before me, but I think 6 of them are staff. There isn't a blessed thing there yet, but if y'all want to join, the first group is http://games.groups.yahoo.com/group/savingthesims94/ (Note to anyone who stumbles upon this blog and doesn't know what it's about, the YG is for archiving game files for the original The Sims games, so there's no need for you to join unless you play). There isn't a second group yet, but I'm pretty sure it will be needed since we had nearly 300MB of files at the House o.O.
There really isn't a point to my rambling, I just miss you all already and don't know what to do about it. I'm not ready to integrate into a new forum yet. I'm not sure that I ever will be either, but that's a crazy old me thing. I really have to work on my email skills i think, and on learning to speak german, dutch, japanese, spanish, italian, and better french.
Well, I don't really want to say goodnight, but I think I might be a bit delerious from not sleeping well last night, so I'll bid you a tout a l'heur, and leave you with a lovely quote from the lovely Evalynda at the top of the page.
Lots of love to you all!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Our House was a very very very fine house...
If you're here reading this now, it's because the doors of My House, OUR home, have closed. Never was I more aware of what a special place it was, not just for me, but for many of us, until our last week together. I know this blog will never be as "connected" or intimate as our little forum was, but hopefully it will serve us well in keeping touch during this next year while I embark upon the many adventures life has waiting for me.
I can't say that I will post every week, because I don't want to let anyone down, or worry anyone, but I will do my best to post at least once a month. And to keep a tradition going, with each new post, I'll post a new quote or bit of wisdom or random silliness at the top of the page, almost as if we were still sitting on The Verandah chatting over lemonade and tea.
What we keep in our hearts will never be forgotten, and I will keep all of you, my friends, in my heart.
I can't say that I will post every week, because I don't want to let anyone down, or worry anyone, but I will do my best to post at least once a month. And to keep a tradition going, with each new post, I'll post a new quote or bit of wisdom or random silliness at the top of the page, almost as if we were still sitting on The Verandah chatting over lemonade and tea.
What we keep in our hearts will never be forgotten, and I will keep all of you, my friends, in my heart.
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